When career-focused Hayley Hendrix found herself newly single at 39, she thought she had missed the memo for motherhood forever.
Refusing to accept that she would never experience the joys of motherhood simply because her relationship had ended, Ms Hendrix underwent three failed sessions of intrauterine insemination (IUI) costing $10,000.
It was after the third round of treatment that the Brisbane native received news from her doctors that would shatter her world – she was medically infertile.
Ms Hendrix (pictured) was terrified that she had ‘missed the memo for motherhood’ when her relationship broke down at 39
The call out which Hayley posted to a Facebook group in search of her dream donor
Refusing to accept that her dream ended there, Ms Hendrix ‘went rogue’, embarking on a journey that would ultimately lead her to finding a sperm donor on social media platform Facebook.
Becoming pregnant on her first attempt, Ms Hendrix fondly refers to her donor as ‘Mr Stork’.
The man in question allowed Ms Hendrix to fulfil her greatest wish, and has also helped three other women to become pregnant after connecting through social media.
Now thirteen weeks old, baby Remy has brought fulfilment and a new found purpose into the doting Brisbane mum’s life.
‘I’m really ready at 42 to be a mother. I was too career focused, too ‘me-oriented’ to have done this a decade ago,’ she said
Speaking to FEMAIL, Ms Hendrix talked about life as a new mother, how things have changed since Remy arrived and what she has learned from her unusual experience of sperm donation.
‘I’m really ready at 42 to be a mother. I was too career focused, too ‘me-oriented’ to have done this a decade ago. I was living in Los Angeles – it was a hectic lifestyle and there is a real Peter Pan syndrome going on there.
‘You almost never grow up and I suppose this is how I missed the memo for motherhood,’ Ms Hendrix said.
Ms Hendrix was overjoyed to find out she was pregnant with her first child at 41
IUI vs. IVF
* In vitro fertilisation (aka IVF) is a procedure used to overcome a wide range of fertility issues, in which sperm and egg are fused together outside the body. The embryo is then transferred back to the uterus.
* Intrauterine insemination (commonly known as IUI) is a method of fertility treatment that involves inserting prepared sperm directly into a woman’s uterus. It is regarded as a less invasive procedure than IVF
‘I was thinking of where to travel next, what bar was the coolest place to be seen at, who was the coolest person to hang out with.
‘Life now is a world apart, filled with unwashed hair and dirty nappies. And I couldn’t be happier. I am more fulfilled now than I ever have been.’
Ms Hendrix explained that living in LA, she felt a void that is gone now. These days, she feels deeply rewarded by the simple things in life.
‘Remy’s smile has filled my heart,’ she proudly told Femail
‘Remy’s smile has filled my heart,’ she proudly told Femail.
‘I am really present with him – he is getting all of me so it is the best of both worlds for the two of us. Not only did I have a miracle child, I really found my purpose.’
Ms Hendrix has written a book about her experience and says she also has other projects in the pipeline.
Hayley Hendrix speaks to ABC about her ‘rogue’ path to finding a sperm donor via social media
Speaking about her relationship with Remy’s ‘DNA Daddy’ as she refers to him, Ms Hendrix joked that he reminds her of Charlie from the Charlie’s Angels film franchise.
‘He’s like the voice in the movie, always present without being there physically. We share photos and regular updates, we talk about things to do with Remy and there has always been an open line of conversation which is amazing.’
‘Remy’s biological father will always have a place at the table whenever he’s in town. I want Remy to know who he is. No secrets – I think keeping things from children just creates a lot of emotional and identity issues down the line, so I will always be honest about where he came from.
‘I hope that in time, Remy and I can connect with the three other women who my DNA Daddy has also helped. I want Remy to know his half siblings.’
Hayley Hendrix wants more women to explore unconventional avenues for starting a family regardless of their relationship or social status
Ms Hendrix wants women to know that they are the authors of their own story, and that regardless of their relationship status, they too can become a mother just like her.
In terms of negative reaction to her non-traditional pregnancy plan, Ms Hendrix admitted that there were people in her life that were not as supportive as she might have expected.
‘There is judgement, no doubt. At 42, I am much more accepting of what people think of me, good or bad – it solidified for me who my real friends are.’
She added that while she acknowledges that there are strangers out there who may disagree with her choice, she wants to share her story publicly to show women that there is no ‘right’ way to have children.
‘It’s about breaking down stigma and purely traditional ways of thinking.’
Ms Hendrix is adamant that she wants Remy to know exactly who he is and where he comes from, and hopes that someday he will connect with his half siblings
Ms Hendrix, formerly Hayley Chapman, changed her surname as a result of her experience with social media sperm donation to represent the new chapter she had forged for herself and baby Remy.
‘I did it to show that Remy and I are a family in our own right.
‘I am my own person on my own mission –I don’t need to wait for someone else. It’s about owning who I am and taking responsibility for the situation that I’m in.’
On giving advice to women who might be considering an unconventional avenue of sperm donation, Ms Hendrix says that while the process worked out incredibly well for her, it doesn’t happen that way for everyone.
‘You have to ask the right questions and be very selective when it comes to the donor. The baby must be at the centre of every decision.’
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5841739/Woman-sperm-donor-social-media-wants-break-stigma-surrounding-unconventional-conception.html?ITO=1490&ns_mchannel=rss&ns_campaign=1490 Source: MailOnline | Copyright © MailOnline, All Rights Reserved